Love is in the air. Valentine’s day is just around the corner, you’ve just had your postpartum checkup and your doctor or midwife has given you the all clear to resume sexual activity. Now what? Most likely, you received little to no information about having sex after having a baby. It’s no wonder so many of the moms I work with in my private practice are more anxious and apprehensive than excited about being cleared for sex.
Last month a collective round of applause was heard around the world when former First Lady Michelle Obama testified to what we all know to be true about work/life balance. As Mrs. Obama put it:
“That whole, so you can have it all, nope, not at the same time. That’s a lie. And it’s not always enough to lean in, because that s**t doesn’t work all the time.”
Are your nights stressing you out? Between lengthy commutes, meal prep, preparing your child’s things for school or daycare, and demands from work, most of us dread the chaos of weekday evenings. A number of my clients in my psychotherapy practice describe the “second shift” of coming home after work as a race to check items off a to-do list. Some describe a wish for their kids to just go to bed so they can get things done. All of them describe it as immensely stressful.Read More
You might crave donuts. You could start sleeping ridiculous hours. You could even feel lousy in summer. Psychologists share the things they wish you knew about seasonal affective disorder.Read More
For many women and families, pregnancy loss is a painful part of family building. We here at DC Moms Blog want to do our best to support families who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. We hope the following information will support you or help you support a friend in coping with pregnancy and infant loss.Read More
October marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This month honors the millions of families who have experienced loss through miscarriage, stillbirth, termination for medical reasons, or infant death.Read More
We’ve all been there. The triggers are different but the experience of feeling like “a bad mom” is one most people can relate to. I hear this a lot from my patients and I’ve certainly struggled with that feeling myself. The problem is not the feeling. As a psychologist, I wholeheartedly believe in the importance of connecting with all of our feelings, including the painful and uncomfortable ones. Our feelings are informative and instructive.Read More
This fall my spirited daughter will head off to kindergarten. With the birthday cut-offs as they are in our area, she will be one of the youngest in her grade entering school at 4 years old. But this essay isn’t about that. Nor is it about whether or not to redshirt your kids. There are plenty of message boards and impassioned blog posts that do just that.Read More
Is summer travel with your kids stressing you out? There is no shortage of blog posts with great ideas to make traveling with your kids smoother. But have you ever thought about the impact of your own thinking on your travel stress?Read More
There is something uniquely beneficial about connecting with others who are simultaneously experiencing the role and identity shift that comes with parenting. Additionally, other moms can offer instrumental support, validation, gentle guidance, and connection in ways that are unique to these relationships. Whatever the reason, finding your tribe of other moms is crucial. So how do you make “mom friends” in a transitional city like Washington, D.C? Below are my 5 Tips.Read More
A few weeks ago on my blog, I spoke about the dip in marital satisfaction that 67% of married couples report after having a baby. There are many reasons why this happens. But in my opinion, the most common culprit is emotional labor.
Emotional labor refers to the invisible (and unpaid) work of caring for your feelings, as well as managing the feelings of others. It is the mental load of managing households. Being the one to remember important dates and appointments. Remembering birthdays. Ordering food before the fridge is empty. It is work that falls disproportionately on women’s shoulders.Read More
Every May, I find myself talking a lot about Mother’s Day in my therapy practice. For some Mother’s Day is a much-anticipated day of celebration and some well-deserved R&R, but for many, it’s an emotionally loaded day.Read More
Sleepless nights, pelvic floor pain, plugged milk ducts. We talk frequently about these and other effects of having a baby, but you don’t hear a lot about relationships. More specifically, many of my clients come to me in distress about the state of their marriage after having children. They feel irritated with their partners, are fighting more frequently, and are disconnected.Read More
In my last post, I laid out several of the problems with the current structure of maternity leave and flexible work policies in the United States, including the gender gap in earnings and the expectation that women will still be responsible for childcare and domestic tasks implicit in many leave policies. As I outlined, these policies don’t fix the problem and may actually make it worse.Read More
A few weeks ago, Senator Tammy Duckworth announced that she is pregnant with her second child. When she gives birth later this year she will be the first Senator to ever give birth while in office. Predictably, her announcement has sparked questions about her capacity to serve in office with a new baby, and has generated conversations about the grossly insufficient family leave policies and lack of accommodations for new parents in the United States.Read More
Last week’s episode of the CW’s Jane the Virgin featured a subplot that addressed postnatal depression in men. In brief, after choosing to stay home with his newborn daughter, Rogelio (Jane’s father) claims to have developed male postpartum depression (paternal postnatal depression or PPND).Read More
Moms hold a variety of beliefs that stress us out and squash our joy. Beliefs about who we should be and how we should feel. Beliefs about how we should work and parent and practice self-care. Beliefs about what we should get done. Beliefs about what we must expect from ourselves.
Many of Emma Basch’s clients feel massive pressure to “lean in” in all areas of their lives. And if they don’t move up at work, be fully involved in their child’s school, manage their household and have an active social life, they feel a profound sense of failure.Read More
In planning my first blog post of 2018, I’ve been thinking a lot about intentions, and specifically about why I started Maternity Matters. My goal in penning this blog was to give voice to the many nuanced aspects of perinatal mental health that are often difficult, painful, or uncomfortable to discuss. To that end, I wanted to start the year in line with that intention by highlighting an issue that should make us all deeply uncomfortable and deserves attention. Specifically, I want to address the enormous racial disparities in perinatal health outcomes, and share some thoughts on how to tackle this problem.Read More