Coping During the Coronavirus- Strategy #22

Create Buffers 

            It’s hard to imagine that several weeks into quarantine, one of the things I miss is my commute to work. It’s not that I miss the rush of making it to the office on time or the experience of navigating a crowded subway. Rather, I miss the opportunity to reset before shifting between the various roles in my life. My commute to work provided time and space to shift into my professional self, and my commute home gave me some time to decompress before jumping into caretaking and household responsibilities. My “commute” is now a rushed and very abrupt transition from seeing patients, to helping my children complete schoolwork to cooking and cleaning, to seeing patients, and back again. What I’ve learned over the past five weeks is that if I don’t create that buffer, no one is going to do it for me. For me, it looks like taking 10 deep breaths and stretching before I shift from one role to the next. On the rare occasion where I have more time, it looks like reading for 10 minutes or listening to music. How might you create some buffers in your day?

Coping During the Coronavirus- Strategy #21

Let Yourself Cry

       Crying, feeling angry, feeling heartbroken, feeling scared. These are all normal and expected reactions to the pandemic and the experience of social distancing. We are all grieving. Some days are lighter, other days it can all feel heavy. Connecting with your emotions, allowing yourself to feel the weight of your experience, is a healthy and important part of coping. Many of us are in “survival mode” and may not feel like we have much time or space to truly connect with our feelings; and yet, the feelings are there whether we look at them or not. I encourage you to let the feelings come when they come, be present with them, feel them in your body, watch them rise and fall, and rise again. Mindful, connected, presence is how we can be with and move through experiences of pain, and how we will walk through this experience together.

 

Coping During the Coronavirus- Strategy # 20

Create a Coping Menu 

            By now you may have accumulated a number of coping strategies during quarantine. However, many people find that it is one thing to come up with self-care ideas, and a whole different challenge to actually engage in them. This is where a coping menu can help. The goal of creating a coping menu is to write down your list of coping strategies and organize them by the relative ease it takes to engage in them. For example, your “appetizer” section would list strategies that are easy to engage in and don’t require a lot of time and effort. Your “entrée” section would include tools that require a bit more effort and time to use, and your “dessert” section is where you list your ideal self-care strategies. I would recommend you put this list on your phone or save it as the background on your computer, so it is easily accessible. Having all the options in front of you is a helpful reminder to integrate coping regularly so that when you have a free moment or are feeling distressed, you can jump right into action rather than trying to come up with an idea on how to cope.

Coping During the Coronavirus- Strategy #19

 Body Scan

            A body scan is a meditative practice aimed at helping you connect with physical sensations held within the body. The purpose is to cultivate greater bodily awareness in the service of deepening your understanding of how stress and emotions are felt in your body. Noticing and staying present with physical sensation can help expand your ability to tolerate distress, draw breath and attention to tension in the body, and shift your relationship to discomfort.

            To practice a body scan, find a quiet place to lie down and close your eyes. Starting at your toes bring gentle awareness to any sensation you may experience there. Notice what you feel or connect with the absence of sensation with a curious, non-judgmental lens. Spend some time exploring this sensation, then gently shift your attention to your feet. Slowly work your way up your body from toe to head, stopping to explore sensation in each part of the body. If you notice areas of particular discomfort you can practice bringing breath into those spaces. Continue until you’ve made your way through your whole body, then spend some time connecting with the experience and sensations of your full body breathing. 

            There are numerous free resources online which provide guided body scan meditations to listen to. The Headspace and Calm apps also have great guided options.

Coping During the Coronavirus- Strategy #18

Listen to Music

            If you’ve ever listened to a particular song to motivate yourself while exercising or enjoyed the soothing sounds of classical music, you already know that listening to music has a profound effect on mood. Research has demonstrated that music can be used to reduce anxiety, improve mood, and even help to regulate blood pressure. Music has even been used to reduce the amount of supplemental anesthesia and pain medication used on patients during surgery. Interestingly, there is not a single style of music that best regulates mood. It is subjective. If you are looking to integrate music into your coping plan, start by relying on the bank of music that you already love. Make some time to truly listen to it, ideally without distraction and see what it does for your mood.

Coping During the Coronavirus- Strategy #17

Clean Pain/Dirty Pain

             In ACT therapy, we use the concept of clean pain and dirty pain to help differentiate between pain and suffering. Clean pain represents the natural, normal emotional and physical response of pain. These are also known as our primary emotions. This could be the emotional response of anger or sadness or the physical experience of pain. By contrast, dirty pain represents the suffering we experience as a result of our thoughts. It is self-generated and self-perpetuating. The vast majority of our experiences of distress are caused by dirty pain. This could be due to judging our emotions or attempting not to feel them. The next time you are distressed, see if you can identify when you are engaging in dirty pain. What would it mean to let go of the judgment and truly let yourself connect with your feelings?

Coping During the Coronavirus- Strategy #16

Take a Mindful Moment 

            With all the additional responsibilities and anxieties that are present for many of us right now, it is hard to remember to pause and check in with ourselves. When we are moving so fast or when we are consumed with worry, we miss opportunities to take care of our basic needs and respond to our feelings. This is where mindful moments come in. I’d encourage you to regularly take 30 seconds to pause and ask yourself the following. Am I hungry or thirsty? Am I tired? How does my body feel? What am I feeling right now? What do I need right now? One way to ensure you practicing this regularly is to do this every time you wash your hands. Use that 20-30 seconds to check in with your basic needs and respond accordingly. This gentle simple pause is a profound act of self-nurture and self-care.

Coping During the Coronavirus- Strategy #15

Restorative Yoga

Restorative yoga is a type of yoga practice that is about slowing down, resting, and feeling totally supported in your body so that your mind can relax. Unlike a more active yoga class, a restorative practice is about holding a few postures while your body is supported by props so you can relax and sink into stillness. Restorative yoga activates the parasympathetic nervous system triggering a relaxation response in the body and has been shown to help ease symptoms of anxiety and depression. Restorative yoga can be practiced at home, using items you may have around the house as props. For example, you can put your legs up the wall, with a blanket over your torso and a pillow under your head. You could sit in a restorative forward fold by using a folded blanket or pillow to rest your head and torso on. If you are feeling anxious, trying holding a restorative posture for 10-15 minutes and notice what happens in your mind and body.

 

Coping During the Coronavirus- Strategy #14

In my Control/Out of My Control

             If you are feeling anxious or preoccupied with worry, try dividing your worries into two categories. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side write down worries about things that are within your control. On the other side, write down worries about things that are outside your control. Take action on the things that are within your control. For example, if you are worried about how to tackle work and taking care of kids this week, make a schedule, talk to your bosses, adjust your expectations. For worries about things outside of your control, recognize that attempts to fix or solve will not help. Instead, try finding ways to soothe the anxious feeling. For example, if you are bothered by intense worry over the state of the world, instead of spiraling through anxious thoughts, try utilizing a coping strategy such as deep breathing or practicing radical acceptance.