On Rage Runs & Heaving Sobs: How Supporting Your Nervous System Promotes Healing
I startled awake last Wednesday morning. Somehow my body knew the result of the election before I even read the news. We all react so differently to fear and trauma. Some people shut down, some are flooded with memory, and some people get angry or want to fight, As a therapist specializing in trauma, I understand these responses are rooted in the adaptations of our nervous systems. Depending on our wiring, our ancestral history, our rearing, and our previous experiences of trauma, our nervous system produces our very own version of a trauma response. Mine is predictably intense agitation.
I’ve been doing my own work long enough to understand that my nervous system was dysregulated and the agitation was a signal that I needed to move. I started taking “rage runs” in 2016, and these shifted into “grief runs” in 2020. That morning it was a bit of both. I pick music that aligns with my feelings or reflects feelings I need to connect with. I turn it up loud and just start moving.
That Wednesday morning I noticed something unusual. I typically see an occasional runner, maybe someone walking their dog, and sometimes a deer or two near the woods. That morning I saw, women. Lots of them. Some were running, some were walking, some alone, some in pairs. I can’t presume to know the intention of my fellow early morning travelers but I suspect we were all compelled to move by similar internal forces.
I’m sharing this anecdote because it serves as a powerful reminder of the innate wisdom our bodies hold if we are able to step out of the way. As EMDR therapists, we are taught that our brains and nervous systems are wired to heal themselves. That some of the innate things we do in the face of grief and trauma like swaying, singing, crying, moving, and rocking support our brains and our nervous systems in metabolizing emotions and processing trauma. That trauma can get “stuck” when this natural process is disrupted by external or internal forces.
I’ve spent the week supporting countless patients and friends through the layers of grief and trauma this election has evoked for them. While everyone’s experience was varied, I was struck by how many people were apologizing for their emotions. For crying too hard, for being too scared, for being too “real” at work. This emotional censorship is echoed in multiple opinion pieces I’ve read, telling people their anxiety is too loud and unhelpful, that caring for themselves and taking a day off of work or school was indulgent or weak-minded. This is how trauma gets stuck.
We need to get out of our heads, our words, our narratives, our judgment and drop into our physical bodies. We need to listen to our nervous systems, There is innate wisdom there. If you let go of self-judgment and let yourself feel, what does your body need to do? Maybe it needs to sob, maybe it needs to sway, maybe it needs to sing alone or in community. Maybe it needs quiet and stillness and rest, or maybe like me and my fellow runners, it needs to move fast.
As we continue to process the results of this election, supporting our nervous systems through grounding and regulation, and meeting our emotions with openness and acceptance is critical. This is the foundation that will keep us moving forward in alignment with our values, whether in small ways in our day-to-day activities of caretaking and working or on a larger scale as we work towards positive change in the world. So how do you start? Get quiet and listen to your body. Ask yourself, what does my body need right now, and be brave enough to listen to the answer. And keep reading, will share some tips and ideas too.
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