Coping During the Coronavirus- Strategy # 11

Watch the “Musterbation”

From a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy perspective, “musterbation” or “shoulding” refers to “demand” thinking that is inflexible and unrealistic. It makes sense that we engage in this type of thinking as it often reflects a desire to control our environment or our interactions with others. The reality is, of course, most things are out of control. Living in the time of coronavirus certainly underscores this fact. If you find that you’re thinking is marked by “shoulds” and “musts,” try replacing that language with the more flexible language of preference. For example, “I should be able to complete my work just as I normally do” or “my kids must listen attentively to their distance learning” will lead to a lot of anger and frustration when things don’t go as planned. But instead, thinking “it is my preference for work to look as normal as possible or “it is my preference that my kids engage with their distance learning,” leads to a more flexible, accepting attitude. Can you see and feel the difference?